Dumb Things I Have Done Lately

Friday, September 15, 2006

The Illiterates Have Won: "Yer" Time Has Come

I give up. It's time to admit defeat. The illiterate idiots have won. From now on, instead of trying to argue with or educate the morons who can't distinguish between your and you're, I concede and now advocate abandoning both words and switching over to a third form that is correct in both cases: Yer.

In addition to simplifying grammatical rules, it's also beneficial because it makes you sound like a pirate. (Arrrr.)

Old paradigm

Wrong: You're mom is a whore.

Right: Your mom is a whore.

Wrong: Your an idiot.

Right: You're an idiot.

New paradigm


Wrong: You're mom is a whore.

Just as Wrong: Your mom is a whore.

Right: Yer mom is a whore.

Wrong: Your an idiot.

Still Wrong: You're an idiot.

Right: Yer an idiot.

Perfect: Yer an idiot and yer mom is a whore.

Once this unfortunate business is settled, next up is replacing It's and Its with Itz. (Arrrrr.)

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