Dumb Things I Have Done Lately

Friday, July 06, 2007

This Makes Me Nervous, Curious and Furious

According to Statcounter, I normally don't get more than 200 pageviews a day here (and truthfully, it's usually closer to the 100 side of things).

I don't mind at all -- the only metric I really care about is my Returning Visitors number (since it presumably represents people I know in some way). As long as my Unique Visitors count is close to my pageviews count, I'm happy.

(I realize I'm not going to get a lot of repeat visits or extra pageviews from people who actually think certain words are spelled "felatio" or "vaginia" -- nor do I want them. And I feel better about my various one-off entries when people find the useful info they searched for, like how to beat the Asian flush. They come in, they find what they need, they leave.)

However, occasionally, I'll see my pageviews jump far out ahead of my uniques. Then I'll drill down and see stuff like the following last month, which makes me nervous, curious and furious:

magnify this user ip[redacted].dc.dc.cox.net (Cox Communications) [Label IP Address]

Virginia, Fairfax, United States, 0 returning visits

Date Time WebPage
5th June 200715:59:41www.joelogon.com/blog/2006_09_01_foo.html
5th June 200716:20:44www.joelogon.com/blog/2006_09_01_foo.html
5th June 200716:21:53www.joelogon.com/blog/2006_11_01_foo.html
5th June 200716:23:10www.joelogon.com/blog/2006_10_01_foo.html
5th June 200716:44:20www.joelogon.com/blog/2006_11_01_foo.html
5th June 200716:56:07www.joelogon.com/blog/2006_11_01_foo.html
5th June 200716:59:33www.joelogon.com/blog/2006_12_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:03:35www.joelogon.com/blog/2006_12_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:11:30www.joelogon.com/blog/2006_12_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:12:37www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_01_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:15:19www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_01_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:20:43www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_02_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:21:45www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_01_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:24:31www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_02_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:33:45www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_03_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:35:17www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_03_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:37:08www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_03_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:48:45www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_02_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:49:49www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_03_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:51:40www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_03_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:55:11www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_03_01_foo.html
5th June 200717:56:11www.joelogon.com/blog/2007_04_01_foo.html

I get nervous because I wonder -- Is someone hoovering up my content to republish somewhere else? Or am I getting stalked -- is there a dossier getting filled up periodically?

Then I get curious -- is it a person, or some kind of bot? What kind of person would just click from monthly archive page to monthly archive page from 4pm, to just before 6pm?

And for the longer gaps -- was this person really reading from 15:59 to 16:20, or were they getting up to go to the kitchen, or taking a bathroom break in the middle?

Finally, I get furious -- What the fuck was wrong with March 2007? That month had a lot of really good entries in it! Here I am, turning phrases, crafting words and putting in pictures and taking a lot of time and pride in my work, and you, you piece of shit, you bitch/son-of-a-bitch -- you spent 64 fucking seconds on it!

Okay, I'm calm. I'm calm. I take another look and see that
you're doing something that makes you look like you're jumping back and forth between certain months, like March and April 2007 (which really were both pretty good blog months), so you probably did spend more time in those months. So I have no idea who you are or what you're doing, but at least you didn't just skim past.

I'm calm.

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