Dumb Things I Have Done Lately

Monday, December 03, 2007

How Do You NOT Kill Yourself With a Sword?

There seems to be an uptick in suicide-by-sword attempts lately (earlier: Des Moines man slashes self -- via Fark), though the latest one, courtesy of DCist, also involves a murder most messy: "Woman Murdered With Samurai Sword In Martial Arts Academy."

They're saying the husband killed his wife and then tried to commit suicide with it (question: did he wipe the blade off first?), though I counsel that we should not rush to judgment, as it's far too early to rule out ninja involvement.

For the conspiracy-minded, I would not rule out a sinister plot to generate fear and public outrage, in an attempt by zombie sympathizers to implement new sword-control laws and deprive us of some of our most-effective anti-zombie weapons prior to the pending zombie apocalypse.

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