Dumb Things I Have Done Lately

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Helpful Household Hints

* When disposing of a sodden, chewed-out toothpick by crumbling it out of an open car window traveling at speed, there is a better than average chance that the shredded remains will re-enter the car and end up covering the back seat.

* If one discovers a puddle of coffee at the base of a brew-into-cup coffeemaker after each use, one should check to see that the coffee filter body is seated firmly in its enclosure before attempting to use it again.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Pizza Time

Came in from a night of liquid refreshment and needed a snack, so I took a slice of leftover pizza and put it in the oven.

I don't really recall what happened after that, but the next morning, there was a carbonized slice in a cold oven. Careful reconstruction of events indicates that I probably turned off the oven when the slice was mostly (but not quite) warmed and promptly forgot about it.

So I torched a slice, but at least I didn't burn my house down.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Washing Out

Got out insanely early from work yesterday (6:30ish) so I could skate on the W&OD trail since it was such a nice day. Went about 8 miles in an hour (285 calories), then went to the office gym and did the stairclimber for 20 minutes (180 calories), then jumped rope for about 7 minute (70 calories).

The dumb thing is, on the way home, I stopped by Baja Fresh. Despite the fact that I cooked healthy chicken dishes for the week on Sunday. Got a chicken Baja Burrito (800 calories). Ate half.

Including the accompanying chips, that pretty much negates my workout.

Friday, August 20, 2004

Oh Snap

Was fiddling with the antenna on my long-suffering phone to try to bend it back into shape.


An Outrageously Stupid Thing I'm Kinda Glad I Did

So last Friday, I went to Carpool to meet up with a friend, whose friend was guest bartending. Got there after they'd left, but that's a secondary issue. There were two staffers at the door carding people. I get out my wallet and go to pull out my driver's license when one of the bouncers waves me in, so I go in.

I'm inside looking around for someone I know, when it hits me: my license wasn't in it's usual slot. So I start looking through my wallet.

I don't have my license.

I spend the next two hours searching the car, driving around, retracing my steps. The sushi restaurant. The gym. The locker room. The other locker room where I showered because they were cleaning the first one. The office. Called Corey; maybe I left it in his car, or it was jolted out of my pocket during a particularly hard stop (clutching at straws here). No luck. Maybe some miscreant stole my license out of my wallet when I was in the shower (it's the one time I hadn't locked my locker because no one was left). Oh no, what if it's the cleaning staff, do I want to start making accusations?

Finally gave up and went to the Virginia DMV Web site to find out about getting a replacement license. Start getting anxious because they've put in new anti-fraud measures that require things like a passport (check) and original birth certificate (uh-oh). Decide to worry about it in the morning.

Driving home, start thinking about any other places I used my wallet (lots) or used my license (fewer). Let's see, work backwards: Thursday, didn't go out to DC. Wednesday was at Galaxy Hut, no, they know me. Tuesday at Vienna Inn -- that was with kickball folks, so didn't get carded. Monday...I don't think I went out Monday. Sunday...went tubing, didn't need my licen...wait a second. I went for a bike ride after getting back, and I usually pull my license out and stick it in my pocket so they can identify my body if I pull a wilson and get hit by a truck...nah, I couldn't...didn't I?

I find my shorts (swimsuit, actually) in the "to be washed" pile, and, yep, there's a plastic rectangle in the back pocket. Also eight soggy dollars in front. I guess I was distracted after my ride because of some guy in a van who was yelling something unintelligible at me through a bullhorn as he drove past me on my bike (and whom I saw 2 minutes later in the parking lot of my complex, hah).

So, it turns out that I've been going around for 5 days without proper ID. Good thing I didn't go into DC on Thursday with Paulie...it would have been a long, shameful trip back.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Tube Rash

On Sunday, went tubing on the Potomac, starting near Harper's Ferry. Great day for it, low 80s, dry. Only complaint is that I have friction burns on the insides of my forearms, from rubbing against the sides of the tube while paddling.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Phone Home

Went to Carpool last night. Friend of mine said a friend of his was guest bartending, but neither of them were there, which means I misheard them and they were actually over at Jimmy's. Oops.

Ran into some other folks though (kickballers and others), so I hung out with them. However, as I was leaving, I realized that I didn't have my phone. I'd been hanging out at a few tables, so I didn't bother looking for it since I figured it would turn up. Besides, it's of limited utility, since I ended up using Liquid Nails to glue the battery in permanently.

When I got home, I called and left myself a message; got a call a little while later from a guy who found it, which was cool. Except he also called Mom & Dad, so I got a call from them later on asking what was going on.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Orange Juice Is Not a Solid

Went on a bike ride a few weeks back; filled my water bottle with 1/4 orange juice, 3/4 water. Drank most of it, but not all of it. Forgot to clean it out. Checked it yesterday; there was a nice mold colony floating in it. I think it had achieved the use of primitive tools but not yet written language.