Dumb Things I Have Done Lately

Monday, February 28, 2005

Sucker Punched

I haven't seen Million Dollar Baby, so I've been studiously avoiding discussions of it, because I hear that there's a shocking plot twist.

That is, until today. I'm having to go through discussion topics, and there's just no avoiding it.

Damn these eyes.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Time Travel

My kickball team had a surprise birthday party for Somer on Saturday, part one at Chuck E. Cheese, part two at Ned Devine's.

Note that it was Saturday, not Friday, like I first thought.

At least I didn't get it the other way around.

Saturday came around, so I tried again. This time, the folks decided to go to Carpool for part two, which I didn't find out until later.

So I didn't get to wish Somer a happy 30th.

Also, my sister washed her laundry with fabric softener.

That doesn't have anything to do with the first thing, I just wanted to mention it.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

My Current Workout Schedule

Week 1
Monday: Legs & Shoulders
Wednesday: Chest & Triceps
Friday: Back & Biceps

Week 2-12

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Recent Purchases I Didn't Really Need

I went a little crazy online a week or two ago, and received 4 different UPS deliveries Monday and Tuesday. Highlights:

* Not 1, but 2 (free shipping with 2) Air Force Academy surplus flightsuits, Nomex, Size 34S. Now I can be Chimpy McFlightsuit or Wang Chi from Big Trouble in Little China.

They're actually a big snug, which can be a problem with a jumpsuit, but you just don't see very many 34S of anything, so I got them.

* Steve Miller Band, Greatest Hits (CD, used)

* An Inova T-3 Flashlight. (I already have the T-1.)

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Burning Down the House?

Got in last night after hanging out at Clyde's. Was hungry, so I decided to fry up some potato latkes.

The cooking instructions say fry with a little oil (or cooking spray) on medium for 5 minutes on a side.

Not 5 hours.

Reconstructing events, I apparently went to bed after flipping them.

I woke up at 8, dreaming of fried potatoes.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Wires Crossed

For some time now, I haven't been getting sound from my left headphone.

They're plugged into my speakers, which are plugged into my computer.

I figured I'd pulled the wires loose on yet another pair of cheap, uncomfortable headphones.

Today I discovered that the headphones are fine; it's the wire from the computer to the cheap speakers that's messed up.

Not Mine, It's Too Good

My friend Pam related this to me yesterday. She and her guy Rob managed to fry the engine of their car.

The reason?

A sunglass case on the console blocked the "OIL" light on the instrument cluster.

It had apparently been on for a couple of months.

The timing is even better: She had just taken the case to give to her kid so he could fidget with it, when she saw the light.

At just about that very moment, the engine started blowing up.

Dumb Things at Work

* Tangled my slinky. I untangled it, but in doing so, stressed it past its static yield limit. It's now deformed.

* Belatedly realized I shouldn't hold my badge in my mouth when I'm juggling an armload of bags and keys. This is because my badge consistently touches the office bathroom floor.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Nothing Says Valentine's Day Like Plumber's Putty

For Valentine's Day, I changed a faucet.

The hot water side had been leaking for a while (I'd taken to going under the sink and opening and closing the supply valve as needed).

It went okay; the only big question was whether or not I needed to use plumber's putty.

Oh, and teflon tape: It's really hard to wrap around threads in a confined space. Also, it makes it easier to (almost) cross-thread the supply line.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Get the L Out

There are two Ls in "Malcolm."

This one is not technically my mistake, although I missed it the first time around.

Also, one more from the ski trip: I was wearing a stocking cap low on my forehead, and now there's a tan line across my forehead.

It's not that noticeable. Really.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Dumb Things from the Ski Trip

Went skiing in 7 Springs (Pennsylvania) over Super Bowl weekeknd.

* Fell getting onto the lift the first time, forcing them to stop it. I was That Guy.

* Forgot that my prior skiing experience, while in Lake Tahoe, was 5 days...5 years ago.

* Having forgotten that, went on the first "warm-up" run with the rest of the folks, fell immediately, then twice more in the next 90 seconds, culminating in a yard sale.

* Had my cell phone in my pants pocket. Fell on it. Hard. Now I have a cell phone-shaped bruise on my thigh.

* Was skiing on a green trail. Actually, a double green. Which suddenly grew moguls. It was narrow and crowded, and I crashed into the edge of the trail. One ski went over the edge, and a pine branch brushed my eye. I had to climb over the edge to get my ski. But my eye is okay now.

* On Day 2, went skiing on a blue-green with the folks. They went on the blue part, I went for the bypass. But I missed it somehow, and was left looking down at a black diamond. Ended up having to inch my way back up so I could find an easier way down.

That's about it. By the end of Day 2, I was on blues okay.

Come to think of it, that was pretty much how the Tahoe trip went, too.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Snap, Crackle, Pop

If an electronic device, like an LED replacement light bulb for a flashlight, is meant to be used with a 2-cell flashlight (3 volts total), don't put it in a 4-cell flashlight (6 volts total).

Unless you like the frying and the volts and hey laaaady, laaaady.

Jerry Lewis

Tuesday, February 01, 2005


The fingernail on my left middle finger was getting long and it bothered me.

My mommy says that I should stop biting my fingernails, and my nail clippers are kind of trashed because I kept using them as wire strippers.

So I used scissors.

Now the nail is too short. It bothers me.