I Should Have Listened to My Dad, Part XXXXVIII

I think I figured out why the tread on my left rear tire has been wearing out oddly: As I was leaving the office this afternoon, I noticed that the rear wheel looked funny. It seemed smaller than it was supposed to be. Lower, you might say. (This, as you might recall, is also the wheel that needed a new brake caliper. I'm having bad luck with left rear wheels this year.)

Now, in my regular calls with Dad, we usually ask each other how the cars are running. And then he'll ask me a few things:

Have you checked your lights?
Yes, Dad.
How's your tire pressure?
It's fine, Dad.

It's down to a script at this point, and I give the proper response, regardless of whether or not I've actually done the thing.

Invariable, this comes back to bite me.

I got the tire pressure gauge out of the glove compartment (another Dad-mandated item) and checked the tire, which is supposed to be at 32 psi.

The needle barely moved. That's bad. So either it developed a slow leak sometime after my car passed inspection last month, or I've been driving on a dangerously low tire for an even longer period of indeterminate length that includes regular trips on the Toll Road, 66, and oh, a trip up to Baltimore.

I limped over to a nearby gas station and filled it up. We'll see how the pressure holds up overnight, which will determine if I was unlucky (new leak) or simply really, really dumb.

Since the tread on the edge is pretty much shot, I'll have to get order new rear tires and then go from there. Probably overdue for an alignment as well, though since I just passed inspection, I don't think this will be another $2,000 flat tire.

I know it's early for Father's Day platitudes, but you should listen to your Dad.

More Schmoozing

I'm just about headed out the door to go to 1223 for Tech Cocktail DC 2. Lots of familiar names on the list, including plenty of former cow-orkers. Should be fun.

I spoke to Paul, and the NoVA Open Coffee event is happening tomorrow morning, 9AM at Panera in Tysons Corner. I'll stop in before I go to my consulting gig in McLean. How early I get there depends on how long it takes to get a drink at Tech Cocktail (and they're usually pretty good about that sort of thing)...

Yesterday's Web Content Mavens event was pretty good. I'll talk more about it some other time.

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In other news, my car passed inspection, though apparently one of my rear tires is getting kind of iffy. At first, I was all pissed off ("I just got new tires?!"), but looking at my Tire Rack receipts, I replaced my original tires in April 2005, after 3 years, then I replaced my front tires after a flat tire in April (remember, running on a flat tire is not the same as having run-flat tires). It being 3 years from now, I guess I'm on schedule.

**************
Also, I came this close to getting tickets to see the Breeders at the 9:30 Club in June; however, since I have a prior kickball engagement, plus the fact that the Ticketmaster convenience and shipping fees add $10 to the ticket, plus I've seen mixed reviews of the album and previous tour dates, I'm going to hold off. Since I'm guessing the show will sell out, that just means I've essentially decided not to go.

Decision-making through procrastination.

Okay, schmooze time.

Running a Red Light When You're Leaving a Bar Is Never a Good Idea

For the NCAA Men's Final on Monday night, I was so tired that I thought I might stay at home to watch, but I ended up dragging myself down to Carpool.

Being Monday, it was pretty dead, though I did get to see someone get kicked out for trying to roll a joint at the bar (among other things).

As I was leaving at about midnight (remember, kids: make your free throws down the stretch), there were a couple of cars waiting at the red light to make a left onto Elden Street from the parking lot.

At the head of the line was a grey pickup truck, and after a few minutes, I guess the driver didn't feel like waiting any more -- he just up and went through the red.

This is not the first time at that light that I've seen a driver pull that move. However, it was the first time that I'd seen the driver get nailed for doing it (at least, I think it was the same grey pickup, pulled over by a cop down by the Urgent Care).

And the thing is, he did it for the dubious gain of about 15 seconds.

In other news:

Slow Cookers Are Slow: I did another Brunswick stew tonight. I started it at around 6pm, stripped the chicken off the bone at around 10pm, and tasted it around midnight. I used too much onion, but otherwise it's okay. It'd better be -- I'll be eating it for a while.

I've tried, but I just don't think I can make slow-cooking fit into my lifestyle. I just don't like the idea of leaving it going for however many hours when I'm not at home.

Because of the cooking, tonight was a pretty domestic night. Moreso than I'd planned -- I had to do dishes to clear out the sink, and then I splashed tomato sauce all over my shirt, so I ended up doing a couple loads of laundry. (Including some ironing. I hate ironing.) Also, there's flour all over the place.

An Isotropic Distribution of DVDs at Circuit City: I've been trying not to buy new DVDs until I can get through more of my purchased-but-unwatched ones, but I caved today -- I stopped by Circuit City and picked up Miami Vice, The Good Shepherd, Breach, and A Fish Called Wanda for $20.

The problem with the DVD section at Circuit City is that, as far as I can tell, their shelving system does not conform to any accepted organizational standards and practices. While it's not quite completely random, it is almost completely useless.

It might be a baroque experiment in applying isotropic distribution models to retail. Though I'm thinking it would be better if they just had an associate take a few hours to do some hard core alphabetizing (cheat sheets are available upon request).

Tags: brunswick stew

The White Van Speaker Scam Blows Into Reston

I was driving back from lunch and stopped at a red light on Reston Parkway, when I heard a loud conversation coming from behind me.

A guy in a white van in the left lane was talking to the driver of the car behind me. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but when the van rolled up to me and the passenger motioned to me, I figured they were asking for directions.

I rolled down my window and heard:

"Hey, you want a set of speakers? For your house?"

This, of course, is straight from the script of the White Van Speaker Scam. (If you haven't heard about it, it's pretty interesting to see how it works. The mechanism relies on people's greed for a bargain, as well as the desire to help someone stick it to The Man. See also.)

I just shook my head no and rolled up the window. I should have taken a picture of the guys, but I only got a crappy and useless cellphone photo of the back of the van:

They moved turned in to the North Point Shopping Plaza, presumably in search of another sucker.

Tags: white van speakers, scams

Only 2/3rds as Screwed as Projected

I'm taking a late lunch in Tarbouch right now, which is a Mideast/Mediterranean place on the corner of Lee Highway and North Kirkwood in Arlington.

It used to be a carryout place -- I'd stopped in a few times before, since it's right off the Spout Run I-66 exit, a convenient stop on the way to Clarendon. Over the winter they expanded it and fancied it up -- there's a restaurant section now, complete with hookah.

It's 4pm and there are three different groups of people smoking up now. It's a thin, sweet, fruity smoke, so it's not nearly as annoying as regular smoke.

Ah, my spicy falafel sandwich and chips are here:

It's a perfectly serviceable and tasty falafel sandwich, but if I'd had my druthers (who still talks like this?) and easy parking, I'd prefer to spend my euros getting the full experience over at Amsterdam Falafel.

Anyway, following up on yesterday's brake situation -- I dropped my car off at the dealership this morning -- not the one I'd been to before, though -- I didn't want to go all the way into Arlington.

The waiting room had wifi, though I hit a content filter a few times. No, I wasn't surfing porn in a crowded waiting room. (Not at eight in the morning, anyway.) Oddly, popurls and Cyanide and Happiness were both blocked as mp3/filesharing sites, and some ad providers were blocked, which is not as useful as it seems, since it was hanging pages that had those ads in an iframe.

They diagnosed my car, gave me the keys to a loaner (a Mazda3) and I was on my way to McLean for work. A few hour later, I got a call and picked it up -- I probably still got ripped off, but only 2/3rds as much.

Okay, the smoke is getting really thick. Time to relocate to a coffee shop for a bit before I head on over to tonight's DC Blogger meetup.

I Am Going to Get So Screwed Tomorrow

And it doesn't have anything to do with the March Washington Blogger Meetup (7:00pm at RFD, across from the Verizon Center).

A few days ago, I started smelling this really strong burning brake odor from the back of my car. I wasn't sure what to make of it until yesterday, when I was filling up at a gas station, smelled the smell, and touched my rear left wheel.

It was really hot. The other wheels were cool.

Even I, with my limited car knowledge, put two and two together and figured it was a stuck caliber (which might explain why my mileage last week was a little worse than usual).

I took it in to the local brand-name brake/tire/burrito place today -- after some initial confusion with the ticket (when they tried to sell me on a new timing belt -- I'd just gotten it inspected at the proper interval -- and all the usual unnecessary fluid replacements), they confirmed, yes, it was a stuck brake caliper.

This is apparently something of a known issue with the Mazda Protege5 (mine is just under 6 years and 70K miles old).

They told me I needed two new rear calipers, rotors and pads. They didn't have the right replacement calipers (they should get in tomorrow), so I'm driving only locally, and carefully. right now.

However, based on my reading, and seeing their ridiculous price quote, I'm going to get a second opinion at the Mazda dealership tomorrow, especially since I don't think the local shop is up to speed on my car's brakes (like, how to free up a stuck piston). I've got a couple of 16ths of an inch of brake pad safety margin left to spare, so I have a little time, and if I'm right, this would probably save me a few hundred bucks.

Of course, my initial thought was to either: 1). Ignore it and hope it goes away, or 2). Throw money at it, but neither of those is really an option right now. But I can't afford to procrastinate on this one, as it's hurting my meeting schedule.

Tags: mazda, protege5, rear brake caliper

What an Amazingly Great Idea for Teen Girl Drivers

I took this cameraphone photo in Herndon on Saturday -- a Honda Element with "I'M 17!!!!!" marked up all over in window paint:

The sides were done in similar fashion.

Young miss (and it was a girl -- I saw the driver, but was that ever a question?), I can guess that you're excited about turning 17, and I also realize that, generally speaking, fears of stranger danger are overblown, and that anyway, there are plenty of ways that people accessorize their cars that reveal all kinds of personal attributes, but screaming out "I'm a 17-year-old girl!" on your ride just seems like a bad idea.

(Incidentally, I remembered afterwards that I had a real camera in my pocket.)

Don't Honk at Me, Bitch -- You're the One Who Cut Me Off

I was coming back from McLean this afternoon, when a driver made me very angry.

I was on Spring Hill Road, getting ready to hop onto the Dulles Toll Road:

View Larger Map (screenshot b/c Blogger didn't like the iframe)

Now, it's covered by the Dulles Toll Road overpass, so you'll have to trust me on this, but there are two left turn lanes, which undergo a leftward lane shift as you pass under the overpass.

So, if you're in the left lane and not paying attention, you'll ignore the lane shift and continue straight, cutting off the driver next to you. If you're lucky, said driver will anticipate this, avoid the collison and simply honk his horn instead of getting all road-ragey.

However, if you decided to honk back at me (I mean, the other driver)... well, then, all bets are off and there's no telling what could happen.

I was seriously contemplating ways to initiate a frank and thorough educational discussion with the other driver, possibly leading to an ad-hoc brainstorming session, culminating in some concrete suggestions on improving the intersection that we could take to VDOT, but what ended up happening is that I stewed for a while, then went to Lake Anne, where I browsed for a bit at the Reston Used Book Shop (cut short because looking up at the higher shelves was hurting my neck), then went to Cafe Montmartre for a few drinks and to use the open wifi hotspot.

Incidentally, it's an optimal day for outdoor laptop use: No wind, no bugs, temperate, and cloudy enough so that the sun is behind a big diffuser, with minimal screen glare.

Tags: Dulles Toll Road, cafe montmartre

The Geekiest License Plate & Car Combo Yet

I was driving on Reston Parkway this afternoon when I noticed this vanity license plate. It's pretty geeky: "TO SOL-4" -- in other words, "To Mars."

Then I pulled up behind the car at a light, and saw that I had barely scratched the surface of the geekiness:

See the photo on Flickr for notes.

Please note the following items (you'll have to take my word on it, since it's not my finest cameraphone pic):

1. "TO SOL-4 [Mars]" vanity license plate, in a Planetary Society license plate frame
2. Matching Planetary Society bumper sticker
3. Linux penguin sticker
4. Discordian bumper sticker
5. And of course, it's a Saturn.

Bonus: "I'm Pro-Choice on Everything" Libertarian bumper sticker.

And those were just the items I could identify.

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In other news, it was really windy late this afternoon. I was driving north on Route 28 and I swear my car was headed northeast.

But at least the days are getting longer.

Tags: vanity tags, geek, planetary society, mars

Meet the Black Giant With Valiant Temperament

I don't normally make fun of Engrish because it's too easy. (Well, there was that one time, but it wasn't Engrish, just a translation open to immature interpretation.)

Plus no matter how egregious the error, their English is still better than my Chinese (or Japanese, etc.).

So, I'll just take a higher road and riff on the All Things Considered story from the Detroit Auto Show a few weeks ago) and say that the product listing for their SUV, the Liebao CFA2030C/D(Black Giant) with the valiant temperament, shows how far Chinese automakers, and Chang Feng Motors in particular, need to go before they can crack the U.S. market. [link via a redlit TotalFark submission]

Besides some standard English conventions that are annoying in their absence (spaces after commas, that sort of thing), it's clear that they need a native or otherwise fluent English copy editor:

"...The automobile appearance is more mighty and more intrepid ! With the powerful engine,the design of environmental protection and energy-conservation.All these present to your perfect driving and experience,seem more majestic-looking even more!"

Among the listed features, we have:

• ABS anti-explode device
• Anticollision pole
• Axes: 2
• Imposing manner
• Double safe gasbag
• Genuine leather sofa
  
• Pillow
• Semiconductor refrigerator

And much more.

Now, this is far from the worst Engrish you'll ever see, since you can pretty much see where the translations took a left turn.

Though I'm not sure about the semiconductor refrigerator.

Tags: engrish, chang feng, black giant, liebao

Simulating Your Way Out of a Speeding Ticket

I was looking at the TruTV (formerly Court TV) Web site to find the next airing of their new Tiger Team show, since I missed it and the premise sounds interesting.

The site wasn't particularly helpful in that respect, though they do have a full episode online.

Anyway, along the way, I saw a promo for a Flash game for one of their other shows, Speeders -- you try to talk your way out of a speeding ticket:

I tried it out, and got off with a warning. Makes sense, since I'm such a smooth, articulate, and persuasive talker, right?

Then I tried it again, taking an alternate tack:

A Children of Men reference.

The police officer reacts negatively, as do I:

Realizing I may have gone too far, I express contrition:

The police officer reacts positively to my honest expression:

Success!

Armed with this tru-to-life simulation, you can be sure I will follow this script the next time I get pulled over.

If nothing else, this could lead to an appearance on another one of their shows.

Tags: trutv, speeders, welcome to speederville

As if I Needed Another Reason to Hate You

It's not enough that you're glued into the passing lane like you own it, and that you're physiologically incapable of moving out of it, no matter how many cars are stacked up behind you or how many times you're passed on the right. (I'm thinking it's a genetic trait, but I also consider environmental factors, such as having a Maryland license plate.)

Oh no.

You also have to be sporting a "9/11 Was an Inside Job" bumper sticker.

I'm a little surprised I was able to resist the urge to PIT your car and run you off the road.

---

I got a late start on the road this afternoon. (One of the benefits of joblessness is being able to extend a holiday weekend to avoid traffic.) I'd wanted to leave at noon so I could go see the tanks at the Army Ordnance Museum in Aberdeen, or maybe visit the NSA Museum, but one thing led to another and I didn't get moving until about 3pm.

Just in time for DC rush hour, yay.

Anyway, I made it back. I liberated my sister's old Mac Classic to add to my own junk pile/hardware museum, as well as a few other things. Now back to the non-work.

Casual Encounters: Thanksgiving Driving as a Series of Craigslist Titles

* Late-Blooming SAM Seeks Poss. LTR on the Beltway: I got a later start than I'd hoped, so I didn't really get moving until 12:30pm, which was probably about an hour too late to skate. I lost at least 30 minutes crawling on the Inner Loop. 95 and the Harbor Tunnel weren't too bad, much better than I was expecting.

* Must Love Dogs (Your Pic Gets Mine): Snapped this cameraphone pic in Delaware, which was slow around the $5 toll, but not too bad otherwise:

There were actually two dogs in the bed of that pickup, but you can only see the one.

* Rants and Raves: Hey fuckface in the blue Eclipse, zipping by the jam-up in Delaware using the left shoulder -- your flashing hazard lights aren't fooling anyone: Die in a motherfucking fire!!!!

* Missed Connection -- You: Blue Dodge Charger sedan. Me: Red Mazda Protege 5. Where: Crawling between Exits 5 and 8 on the New Jersey Turnpike. Did you feel a real link between us: How you saw how I maintained an even pace, trying not to touch my brake? The sense of mutual trust I felt, that you would pay attention to my needs, respect my boundaries, and not slam into my car? How you didn't lose your cool, even if a couple of cars snaked in ahead of me?

Call me.

Why Don't We Wear Helmets in Cars?

As the Great Thanksgiving Migration approaches, I've got driving on the mind, which kind of nudged something I've been percolating on for some time: Why don't we wear helmets when riding in cars?

Yes, I know it's just a bike helmet.

This is not a new musing; people have tried marketing car helmets for kids. (The thin end of the wedge?)

It also comes up whenever there's a debate about motorcycle helmet laws -- the "let the riders decide" crowd brings it up, and the pro-regulation folks either ignore it or dismiss it as a reducing the argument to absurdity.

Of course, the very idea gets wrapped up in issues of societal costs vs. personal responsibility and freedom, and is invariable accompanied by such terms as "nanny state" and "bubble-wrapping the world."

Do we even need helmets in cars? You could rationalize not needing them lots of ways:

* Inside a car, your head isn't as exposed as while on a motorcycle (But it's to prevent your head from banging around inside -- that's why fighter pilots wear them. But what about airline pilots? Hrm.)
* The safety systems inside cars already protect the head in many ways -- padded interiors, head rests, seat belts, and particularly air bags (though what about before they were available?)
* Helmets cut down on visibility and hearing (but isn't that also considered and dismissed for motorcyclists?)

But then you look at race car drivers. Even autocross drivers, many of whom drive (mostly) regular cars, use helmets on the course.

I don't know if there have been every been any studies about the benefits of helmet use in regular driving -- I would assume it'd be so unpopular that even a study would be a non-starter.

It basically comes down to the fact that most folks (myself included) just wouldn't want to wear a helmet inside a car. Ever.

Helmet laws for motorcyclists? Sure -- comparatively few people ride motorcycles, and if someone else has to do something that benefits society, we're all for it. Right?

Now, I don't think I'm turning libertarian; I don't plan on driving with a helmet anytime soon; and I do still think that mandatory helmet laws for bicyclists and motorcyclists are a good idea. I just wanted to think a little bit about why we think what we think.

Oops, forgot to put on the seat belt.

Continuous Flow Intersections Are Keen

I'm backing up my hard drive in preparation for upgrading to Mac OS X Leopard, so in the meantime, here's an item that's been sitting in my topic slushpile.

I've been doing a lot more mid-day driving, and consequently, I've been doing a lot more sitting in traffic. Which sucks.

I saw an item on TotalFark about a different type of traffic intersection installed in St. Louis last month (there's also one up in Accokeek, Maryland) that might help things along -- a continuous flow intersection.

It addresses the problem where traffic that's turning left interferes with oncoming traffic (even with left-turn lanes and arrows and such) -- if northbound traffic is turning left, southbound traffic has to stop (except for those folks turning right), tying things up.

By essentially extending the intersection and moving the left-turny part up a few hundred yards up the road, it moves the left-turn folks out of the way:

Here's the actual tutorial animation.

It's one of those things that's really hard to visualize, even with photos -- Flash animations really help here:

* Utah Dept. of Traffic: Continuous Flow Intersection Tutorial

* Video Demonstration of Continuous Flow Intersections

They're kind of odd to look at, and they involve a kind of double-traffic light, but seeing the animations show how they work. They take up space, though, so I guess you'd only see them at major intersections. I'm also not sure how pedestrians and cyclists fit into the picture. But I'm for almost anything to help improve the efficiency of traffic (until our flying cars get here, of course).

Tags: continuous flow intersections

Virginia: #1 for Nerdy License Plates

More anecdotal evidence today supporting the data that says Virginia leads the nation in vanity plate usage (and by extension, nerdy license plates):

I'm hoping that's not a combined score.

Displaying one's SAT score, even a perfect one, skillfully demonstrates both nerdiness and social ineptitude.

Obviously, a huge fan of Nicholas Cage.

I never really thought about it, but I wouldn't have guessed that Superman drove an Acura.

Tags: vanity license plates

Flat Tire = Enforced Coffee Break

I ran over something in the road, driving on Lee Highway last night. I don't know if it was a pothole or something sticking out of the roadbed, but either way it made a pretty good thud.

When I got to O'Toole's Pub in Centreville (it was for a birthday party), I took a look at the right tires and didn't see anything, and I was able to drive home on it okay.

I had a nagging feeling, though, so I took another look this afternoon (I forgot to look when I grabbed the paper this morning) -- there must have been a slow leak, because, the right front tire was dead flat. So I had no choice but to put on the spare (not that I hadn't also learned my lesson from my previous flat tire experience.)

All things considered, it was an ideal flat tire scenario -- still light out, not raining, right in front of my house, plenty of time to put on the spare, limp to the closest gas station to add 40psi worth of air, and drive to the tire place, which is open until 7pm and conveniently located next door to the Greenberry's Coffee. (So I brung the laptop with me.)

It all went by the book -- I chocked the back wheel, loosened the lug nuts (Dad always insisted we pack a full-size 4-way lug wrench -- it gives you a lot more leverage than the little ones, though if you're on the side of the road, you might not have enough room for the big one), jacked the car, changed the tire, done.

It would have been perfect... except I forgot to take the chock off the back wheel, so I backed over it and broke it. Oops.

Anyway, so now I'm having a scone and a latte, waiting.

Tags: flat tire

Dr. Thaddeus Venture Pitches for Shell Oil

Driving in on the toll road this afternoon, I had the radio on and was half-listening to a commercial for some Shell credit card, when I realized (with a start -- which is probably the anti-cliche for the NYT Metropolitan Diary's overused saw "without skipping a beat") that the voice-over was coming from none other than Dr. Thaddeus Venture, the ineffectual, developmentally-arrested, amphetamine-addicted scientist-patriarch of The Venture Brothers cartoon series.

Although the odds of me getting a Shell credit card were already approaching non-existence to begin with, hearing the voice of Dr. Venture as pitchman effectively bumped that down to zero.

As it happens, James Urbaniak, the voice of Doc Venture and others, mentions the Shell gig in his blog.

Tags: venture brothers, thaddeus venture, james urbaniak, with a start

Fighter Jets Over I-66, and a Housewarming Bar Crawl

Saturday, I went to a housewarming party/bar crawl in Arlington.

On the way in, I was on I-66 (actually, the part of the Dulles Toll Road just before it runs into 66), when I started wondering why I was hearing jets, since the news story I was listening to didn't have anything to do with planes or the war.

I turned down the volume and realized that it was actually a jet. Low-flying, too, since it was pretty loud.

I opened the sunroof to look up, though that wasn't necessary, since I saw out the front windshield that it wasn't one plane, but a flight of four fighter jets (I think F-16s) flying out ahead.

Anyway, after that bit of excitement, the party was pretty good. The housewarming theme was "Stock the Bar", so guests were asked to bring a bottle of liquor.

Depending on the drinking habits of your particular group, this could be a net gain, wash, or net loss for your liquor cabinet.

To be honest, there was more housewarming than bar crawl, though we did make it Dr. Dremo's, where there was a dog:

Then we walked over to Gua-Rapo. On the way, we passed a girl in the Wendy's drive-thru:

It was fun. There are a few more pictures.

Tags: gua-rapo, dr. dremo's